Grief Massage in Carlton North, Melbourne

When You Don’t Need Fixing. You Need Somewhere to Be Held.

Grief can be exhausting.

Not just emotionally.

Physically.

Your chest can feel heavy.

Your throat tight.

Your shoulders ache.

Your stomach changes.

Sleep disappears.

You may feel restless and completely depleted at the same time.

And sometimes the hardest part is that life keeps asking you to function as though something enormous hasn’t just happened.

Grief Massage at The Urban Alchemist is gentle, nurturing bodywork created for times of loss, heartbreak, trauma and profound transition.

There is no expectation that you arrive composed.

No requirement to make conversation.

No need to stop yourself crying.

No pressure to “process” anything.

You can simply arrive exactly as you are.

And for a while, someone else can take care of you.

Book Now!

Not sure if Grief Massage is right for you? Contact our team on (03) 9347 9247.

Who Is Grief Massage For?

Grief Massage may feel supportive when you are navigating:

• The death of someone you love
• The end of a relationship
• Separation or divorce
• Pregnancy loss
• The loss of a pet
• A traumatic or frightening experience
• Illness or significant changes in health
• Caring for somebody who is dying
• Anticipatory grief
• Family estrangement
• A major life transition
• A loss that other people don’t fully understand
• A period when everything simply feels like too much

Grief isn’t limited to bereavement.

We grieve people.

Relationships.

Bodies.

Futures.

Identities.

Homes.

Communities.

Versions of ourselves.

Sometimes even decisions we know were absolutely the right ones.

Your loss doesn’t need to fit anybody else’s definition of what is sufficiently serious to deserve care.

Our Grief Massage Practitioners

Fees

• 120 Minutes ~ $300
• 90 Minutes ~ $220

We offer longer appointments because this isn’t the kind of session we want to rush.

There is time to arrive.

Talk if you want to.

Settle.

Receive treatment.

And come back gently afterwards.

Private health insurance claiming may be available depending on the practitioner providing your treatment, the service received and your individual extras cover.

We have HICAPS available at the clinic for eligible on-the-spot claims. We recommend checking your cover directly with your health insurer before your appointment if you’re relying on a rebate.

You Don’t Have to Carry Everything by Yourself Today

There are times when what you need isn’t another conversation about how you’re coping.

You might just need somewhere warm and quiet where, for an hour or two, you aren’t required to look after anybody else.

Book Now!

Not sure what to book? Contact our team on (03) 9347 9247.

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What Is Grief Massage?

Grief Massage isn’t a particular massage technique.

It’s an intention and way of working.

Your practitioner may draw from relaxation massage, flowing bodywork, gentle therapeutic massage, stillness, grounding touch and, depending on their training and your preferences, modalities such as:

• Lomi Lomi
• Ka Huna
• Reiki
• Energy work
• Aromatherapy
• Sound
• Guided meditation
• Breath awareness
• Gentle therapeutic massage

The important thing isn’t how many techniques are included.

It’s how the treatment is held.

Slowly.

Respectfully.

Without demanding anything from you.

The Body Grieves Too

Grief isn’t simply a collection of thoughts.

It can have a very physical presence.

You may notice:

• Tightness through your chest or throat
• Jaw clenching
• Neck and shoulder tension
• Changes in breathing
• Headaches
• Exhaustion
• Restlessness
• Difficulty sleeping
• A feeling of heaviness
• A sense of being disconnected from your body
• Sensitivity to touch
• A desperate craving for touch
• Feeling strangely numb

There isn’t one correct physical response to loss.

Some people feel everything.

Others feel almost nothing.

Some want to curl into somebody’s arms.

Others don’t want anybody near them.

And those responses can change from one day to the next.

Grief Massage meets the body that arrives that day.

When Words Are Too Much

Sometimes talking is exactly what you need.

And sometimes you’ve told the story so many times you can’t bear to explain it again.

What happened.

When it happened.

How you’re coping.

Whether you’re coping.

Whether you’re “doing better.”

You don’t have to tell us the whole story.

You can if you want to.

But:

“Someone died and I’m exhausted.”

is enough.

So is:

“My relationship ended and I don’t want to talk about it.”

So is:

“Something happened. I need gentleness.”

Your practitioner doesn’t need every detail in order to treat you with care.

Touch During Grief

There are times in life when touch becomes incredibly important.

And incredibly complicated.

Some people find themselves surrounded by people after a loss.

Hugs.

Hands on shoulders.

People sitting beside them.

Then gradually everyone returns to ordinary life.

And the touch disappears too.

Other people experience grief that is private, complicated or poorly understood and receive very little physical comfort at all.

Professional massage offers a different kind of touch.

Safe.

Boundaried.

Consensual.

Non-sexual.

Unhurried.

Touch where nothing is expected in return.

For someone who has been holding themselves together for everyone else, simply being able to receive can feel enormous.

You Are Allowed to Cry

People sometimes apologise for crying during massage.

Please don’t.

You may cry.

You may not.

You may cry because someone touched your shoulder.

You may cry because a particular piece of music plays.

You may cry because your body finally softened.

You may spend the entire treatment feeling peaceful and then burst into tears while putting your shoes on.

Human beings are inconveniently unpredictable.

Your tears aren’t a problem your practitioner needs to stop.

You also don’t need to produce tears in order for the session to be meaningful.

There is no emotional performance required here.

You Are Also Allowed Not to Cry

Some people worry that they’re grieving incorrectly because they feel numb.

Or practical.

Or calm.

Or angry.

Or relieved.

Or absolutely nothing at all.

Grief can be contradictory.

You can love someone and feel relieved that something is over.

Miss somebody and also be furious with them.

Feel devastated on Tuesday and laugh uncontrollably on Wednesday.

There is room for all of it.

And there is room for a completely ordinary massage where absolutely nothing emotionally dramatic happens.

That is not a failed Grief Massage.

Your Therapist as Witness

One of the most valuable parts of this treatment can simply be having another person present without needing you to be different.

Your massage therapist isn’t there to analyse your grief.

Interpret it.

Diagnose it.

Or guide you through psychotherapy.

They’re there to offer skilled, caring touch and a steady human presence.

To allow silence.

To allow emotion.

To notice when you need more warmth, less pressure, stillness or space.

Sometimes witnessing doesn’t require many words.

Sometimes it simply means:

I’m here. You don’t need to pretend with me.

Grief Massage and Emotional Release

People sometimes describe experiencing an emotional release during bodywork.

That might mean:

• Tears
• A deep sigh
• Shaking
• A feeling of relief
• Warmth
• Anger surfacing
• A memory appearing
• A feeling of heaviness shifting
• Suddenly feeling very tired
• Feeling unexpectedly peaceful

We don’t need to claim that grief is literally stored inside a muscle waiting for someone to massage it out.

But physical and emotional experience clearly interact.

When a person who has been bracing for days or months begins to soften, something may change.

Sometimes that’s muscular.

Sometimes emotional.

Sometimes both.

And sometimes nothing dramatic happens at all.

Your body doesn’t owe us a breakthrough.

Grief Massage and Trauma

Trauma can change our relationship with touch.

Some people who have been through frightening experiences find safe bodywork deeply comforting.

Others may feel vulnerable being touched.

Some want firm contact.

Others need extremely gentle treatment.

Some need to know exactly where the practitioner’s hands are going before every movement.

All of these responses make sense.

If trauma is part of what brings you in, your treatment can be adapted around what helps you feel comfortable.

You remain in control throughout the session.

Importantly, Grief Massage is not trauma therapy.

Massage can provide supportive bodywork alongside trauma-informed psychological care, but it doesn’t replace psychotherapy, EMDR or other appropriately qualified mental health treatment when that is needed.

Read more about EMDR

Read more about Psychology

Read more about Trauma Release Therapy

Read more about Psychotherapy

Consent and Choice During Grief Massage

You never have to surrender control in order to receive this treatment.

You can:

• Stay more clothed
• Ask exactly what will happen before treatment begins
• Request particular areas not be touched
• Ask for lighter or firmer pressure
• Decline energy work
• Decline essential oils
• Ask your practitioner to stop
• Change position
• Ask for silence
• Ask to talk
• Change your mind about anything

Your practitioner may also check in more often if that feels useful.

Some people prefer lots of communication.

Others find constant:

“Is this pressure okay?”

interrupts their ability to settle.

Tell us what helps you feel most comfortable.

When You Have Lost a Partner

The loss of a partner can change almost every part of daily life.

The bed is different.

The house is different.

Meals are different.

The future suddenly looks different.

And there can also be a profound loss of ordinary physical affection.

A hand on your back.

Someone beside you on the couch.

A hug in the kitchen.

The thousands of tiny forms of touch that make up intimacy.

Professional massage can never replace that relationship.

It isn’t supposed to.

But receiving safe, nurturing human touch when your life has suddenly become physically quieter can be deeply comforting.

Massage After the End of a Relationship

You can grieve someone who is still alive.

Sometimes intensely.

Relationship endings can involve grief, relief, rejection, anger, longing, confusion and enormous nervous-system activation all at once.

You might intellectually know the relationship needed to end while your body appears to have received absolutely none of this information.

Grief Massage gives you somewhere to stop.

No analysing the messages.

No deciding whether you made the right choice.

No explaining what happened.

Just an opportunity to come back into your body for a while.

Pregnancy Loss and Grief

Pregnancy loss can involve grief that is profound and sometimes poorly acknowledged by the people around you.

If you’ve experienced miscarriage, termination for medical reasons, stillbirth or another pregnancy loss, you’re welcome here.

Your practitioner will need to understand anything relevant to your physical recovery so the massage can be adapted safely.

Depending on how recent the loss was and whether you have ongoing bleeding, pain, fever, complications or recent procedures, medical clearance may be appropriate before massage.

Emotionally, you don’t have to explain or minimise what happened.

Your grief belongs here too.

Grieving a Pet

Yes.

Absolutely.

The death of an animal can be devastating.

For many people, a pet is:

Family.

Companionship.

Routine.

Physical affection.

Safety.

A witness to years of their life.

And often one of the relationships in which love felt beautifully uncomplicated.

You don’t need to downgrade your grief because the person you lost had four legs.

Anticipatory Grief

Sometimes grief begins before somebody dies.

Watching someone you love become seriously ill can involve months or years of fear, exhaustion, caregiving and gradual loss.

You may be constantly on alert.

Making decisions.

Attending appointments.

Supporting everybody else.

Trying to prepare for something you cannot actually prepare for.

Grief Massage can offer a small period in which you’re not required to be the competent one.

For an hour or two, somebody else can look after you.

Grief and Caregiving

Caregivers often become astonishingly good at disappearing from their own list of priorities.

There is medication to organise.

Appointments.

Meals.

Transport.

Family communication.

Forms.

Decisions.

Worry.

Then someone asks:

“And how are you?”

and you genuinely don’t know.

Massage won’t solve the circumstances you’re living through.

But receiving care while you’ve been giving so much of it can offer a rare opportunity to stop.

You are allowed to be one of the people being looked after.

What Happens During a Grief Massage?

Your appointment begins gently.

There is no need to launch immediately into treatment.

Your practitioner will ask what you need and anything relevant to providing safe massage.

You might talk about what has happened.

Or not.

You might simply say:

“I need something very gentle today.”

The session may include work through the:

• Back
• Shoulders
• Neck
• Arms
• Hands
• Legs
• Feet
• Scalp
• Face

depending on your preferences and your practitioner’s style.

They may also incorporate stillness, warm towels, oils, music, energetic work or other gentle modalities where appropriate.

The treatment unfolds around you rather than following a rigid script.

Why Are the Sessions 90 Minutes or Two Hours?

Because grief rarely responds well to being hurried.

Somebody who has spent weeks bracing may need time simply to arrive.

There can be something very different about knowing you don’t need to watch the clock.

Ninety minutes allows for a generous massage and time to settle.

Two hours creates even more spaciousness.

That doesn’t mean the massage must be emotionally intense.

Sometimes two hours simply means your body finally has enough time to realise:

Oh. Nobody needs anything from me right now.

And that can be extraordinarily valuable.

Aromatherapy and Grief Massage

Depending on your practitioner and preferences, aromatherapy may be incorporated into the session.

Scent can have powerful associations.

Comforting ones.

And sometimes difficult ones.

A particular fragrance might remind you of somebody, somewhere or something unexpected.

We’ll never assume that a traditionally “relaxing” essential oil feels relaxing to you.

If you’re sensitive to scent or prefer an unscented treatment, tell your practitioner.

Sound, Music and Stillness

Your session may include carefully chosen music or sound.

Or you may want quiet.

Sometimes silence is precisely what your nervous system wants.

Sometimes music creates enough softness that emotion can arise more easily.

Sometimes hearing a particular song while you’re grieving is a catastrophic tactical error.

If something isn’t helping, tell us.

We can change it.

Reiki and Energy Work

Some of our Grief Massage practitioners may incorporate Reiki or intuitive energy work.

For people who are drawn to these approaches, they can add another dimension of stillness, presence and connection to the session.

You may experience:

• Warmth
• Tingling
• Deep calm
• Spaciousness
• Emotion
• A sense of being grounded
• A feeling that something has shifted

Or you may simply feel extremely relaxed.

If energy work isn’t part of your worldview, that’s completely fine.

You don’t need to receive it.

Read more about Reiki

Can Grief Massage Help Me “Move On”?

We’re not particularly fond of the idea that grief is something you’re supposed to complete.

Love doesn’t vanish because somebody died.

Important relationships don’t become irrelevant because they ended.

Some losses become integrated rather than erased.

Grief Massage isn’t designed to make you “get over” anything.

It gives you somewhere to experience rest, comfort and connection while you’re living through what has happened.

There is a significant difference.

What If My Grief Feels Too Big?

Massage therapists are not mental health crisis clinicians.

If grief is becoming unbearable, you’re unable to function, you’re experiencing persistent traumatic symptoms, or you’re having thoughts of harming yourself or not wanting to be alive, please seek additional support.

That might include:

• Your GP
• A psychologist
• Counsellor or psychotherapist
• Mental health social worker
• Grief counsellor
• Appropriate crisis services

Massage can sit beautifully alongside psychological support.

It doesn’t have to carry the entire load.

Read more about Psychology

Read more about Psychotherapy and Counselling

Grief Massage vs Deep Relaxation Massage

There is significant overlap in the techniques.

Both may be slow, nurturing and deeply relaxing.

The difference is largely in the context and intention.

Deep Relaxation Massage is for anyone wanting profound rest and beautiful bodywork.

Grief Massage is specifically held for people moving through grief, loss, trauma or major transition.

Your practitioner understands that emotion may be close to the surface and creates the treatment accordingly.

Read more about Deep Relaxation Massage

Grief Massage vs Trauma Therapy

They are completely different services.

Trauma therapy involves appropriately trained mental health professionals working therapeutically with traumatic experiences, symptoms, memories, patterns and emotional responses.

Grief Massage is bodywork.

It may help you feel grounded, cared for or more connected with your body.

It can accompany psychological therapy beautifully.

But your massage therapist isn’t going to ask you to revisit a traumatic memory or lead you through psychological processing.

Read more about EMDR

Frequently Asked Questions About Grief Massage

What is Grief Massage?

Grief Massage is nurturing massage and bodywork specifically offered for people experiencing bereavement, heartbreak, trauma, loss or major life transition.

The emphasis is on comfort, safety, human connection and allowing you to receive care without needing to perform or explain yourself.

Do I need to have experienced a death?

No.

Grief can follow many kinds of loss.

Relationship endings, pregnancy loss, illness, family estrangement, loss of identity and major life transitions can all involve grief.

What if I cry during the massage?

You are very welcome to cry.

Your practitioner will not be alarmed and you won’t need to apologise.

What if I don’t cry?

Also completely fine.

There is no particular emotional response we’re trying to create.

Will my therapist talk to me about my grief?

Only as much as feels appropriate and as much as you want.

Grief Massage is not counselling.

You can share your story or simply receive the massage quietly.

Can massage release trauma from the body?

We would phrase this more carefully.

People can experience powerful physical and emotional responses during bodywork, particularly when they have been tense, guarded or overwhelmed.

That experience can feel like release.

We don’t claim that massage literally extracts trauma from muscles or tissues.

Trauma is complex and may require appropriately qualified psychological care.

Is this trauma-informed massage?

Our practitioners aim to work sensitively with consent, choice and boundaries, particularly because people attending Grief Massage may be feeling vulnerable.

Individual practitioner training varies, so if you specifically need a practitioner with formal trauma-informed training, contact us on (03) 9347 9247 and we’ll help you choose.

Can I talk throughout the massage?

Yes.

Can I stay completely silent?

Also yes.

Can I ask not to be touched somewhere?

Always.

Can I stay more clothed?

Yes.

Your practitioner can adapt treatment around what feels comfortable.

Does Grief Massage include Reiki?

Some practitioners may incorporate Reiki or energy work.

It isn’t compulsory.

If you’re specifically looking for it, or specifically don’t want it, let us know.

Is 90 minutes enough?

Absolutely.

Ninety minutes gives you plenty of time to settle and receive a generous treatment.

Why might I book two hours?

Two hours gives the session more spaciousness.

This can be particularly lovely when you’re depleted, moving through significant loss or simply don’t want your treatment to feel hurried.

How soon after a bereavement can I book?

There isn’t a psychological rule saying you need to wait.

If massage feels supportive, you can book when you feel ready.

If your loss is connected with your own recent surgery, pregnancy loss, physical trauma, serious illness or another medical event, check whether there are physical reasons massage should be modified or delayed.

What if I’ve never had a massage before?

That’s completely fine.

Tell your practitioner.

They’ll explain how everything works and you can ask as many questions as you need.

Grief Massage in Carlton North, Melbourne

There are moments in life when there is nothing useful to say.

Nothing that fixes what happened.

Nothing that makes the loss smaller.

And perhaps fixing isn’t what you need anyway.

Perhaps you need warmth.

Quiet.

A room where you don’t need to hold yourself together.

Hands that are gentle.

Time.

Someone who isn’t frightened by your sadness.

A place where tears are allowed and silence is allowed and laughter is allowed and absolutely nothing happening is allowed too.

Grief Massage at The Urban Alchemist is not about making grief disappear.

It’s about offering care while you’re carrying it.

Sometimes that means massage.

Sometimes stillness.

Sometimes warmth.

Sometimes being witnessed.

Sometimes simply having somebody else take care of your body when you’ve forgotten how.

We’re conveniently located for people seeking Grief Massage in Carlton North, Fitzroy, Fitzroy North, Brunswick East, Northcote, Collingwood and Melbourne’s inner north.

You Don’t Need to Be Okay Before You Come

Book Now!

Not Sure Who to Book? Contact Us on (03) 9347 9247